Working with Your Husband While Protecting Your Bond at Home...

Some of you already do it, some of you might dream about doing it, but most of you thank God above that there is no possibility of it ever becoming a reality. I'm referring to working side by side with your spouse. And unfortunately, I'm not talking about spending the weekend in the front yard pruning your crape myrtles! I'm referring to your job.

In the professional world, strong, motivated women usually reveal their alter egos, which usually is the exact opposite of their demeanor at home. Years of working our way up that career ladder has shaped the personality that we have come to embody in the workplace. That side is the ambitious woman that suits up every morning in her dress slacks and pumps, swallows her coffee and Centrum one-a-day, and heads out the door and off to her other life, her career. In the process, she sheds her nurturing, feminine personality while simultaneously putting her determined game face on for the remainder of the work day.

Being apart from your husband all day makes you (and him) cherish that time you spend away from each other. Not only because it makes you even more excited to come home to him every night, but also because he usually only sees the (overall) patient, nurturing side of your personality. You like the fact that he doesn't see your dominant, professional side. Call me old fashioned, but i believe it's no secret that every woman wants their husband to view them in a tender, soft focus light.

But, for us women who do spend the working day with the apple of our eye, (no sarcasm intended, I swear!) they've seen our alter ego, you know, the assertive leader in us who sets high standards for her employees as well as her organization(for those of you in a supervisory role). And if you are like me and work closely with your man (husband and wife owned company and only one office apart), the constant contact and communication can drastically increase conflict and irritation, way more than the average day to day spousal exchanges.

So when you are finally back at home, how do you make the transition from the aggressive business mindset back to the traditional husband and wife role?

No doubt, it will always be a constant struggle. Fortunately for the mister and me, we have discovered a solution that works for us. We've decided that the best way for us to transition back into our domestic roles is to, (A) on the drive home via cellphone, discuss the highs and lows of the work day, hash out any indifferences, and (B) end that conversation the second we pull into the driveway(or not get out of car until we do!) and vow to put all work related issues off until the next day during business hours. Then once we've walked in the door, we shed our business attire along with our alter egos, and settle in for our evening activities. Those activities for us include dinner, taking our Rottweiler for a walk, and snuggling up together to watch our nightly T.V. shows. All the while, allowing ourselves to relax back into our cherished titles of Mr. And Mrs., or as we like to consider it, best friends and devoted lovers.

Admittedly, it's a difficult and seemingly impossible task at times to turn off those mindsets. Yet, we both know it is extremely vital for the health and well being of not only ourselves but our marriage as well. So my advice for all you couples out there that are blessed to also work together; actively continue to put effort into keeping your work life separate from your home life. Set clear and specific boundaries and uphold those boundaries with fierce adamancy.

Practice makes perfect and soon it will be second nature. Always remember that the bond you share with your husband should always take priority over business matters. No exceptions!

Keeping the Drive Alive

The seasons of life are quick and ever changing. One second something notable happens in your life and then in a blink of an eye you're marveling in shock over just how long ago that something actually happened. It can sometimes leave you feeling like your strapped to the seat of a never ending roller coaster. One that never slows to the end of the track, stops, the safety harness raises, and  then you exit, along with all the rest of the passengers.

Some of the lows, or dips that you experience are mostly quick and soon forgotten. Some of them are, well,  not so brief.  A few days pass and you realize that you've been saying the phrases "Oh, I'm just not having any luck today", or "Could this day get any worse?" a little too often. In fact, more like a few times a day for the past couple of weeks.

So it turns out, for whatever reason, you find yourself stuck smack dab in the depths of a slump. And I have found from personal experience, that once you hit that inevitable slump, it is a very slippery slope. The dangerous negativity of the failed attempts, missed opportunities, and past due deadlines start to suck the life out of you. And soon, you transform into a giant red bullseye for darts of criticism. And who is standing behind the taped line tossing those darts at your pride and self esteem? You. Because, like most ambitious women, we turn out to be our own worst critic.

So you're in a slump..on the downward dip of your roller coaster. What do you do? How do you get back to the top?

One Word: Inspiration.

Inspiration is your one-way ticket back to the top of your roller coaster.  Back to that part of the ride where you're soaring high with confidence, brimming over with ideas and creativity, and killing it with one success after another.

So now you now what you need, the next question is where to find it.

A quiet walk in the park, a newspaper or magazine article, a coffee date with an old friend, a phone conversation with an older sister. Sometimes I get it from certain lyrics in a song, or the inner strength I gain from grueling through an intense workout. But whatever your form of drawing that much need inspiration may be, always be aware of it. Always be prepared to use it when you feel your luck taking a downhill plunge.

Sometimes you have to endure the lows and stick it out. Find a way to hold your head up and make it through the fog until that wave of inspiration splashes down on you and washes away the negativity. Only then will you be able to wake up with that ambition and motivation that drives you  to do the things that you know you are capable of doing. The YOU that lands the next big client, secures that big job order;  the you who leads without fear, motivates those who surround you, and hell, even cracks a smile now and then.

You, once again, back in the driver's seat and roaring ahead with a full tank of gas and a clear road in your horizon...

Red heels in a black and white world...

I bet you are wondering to yourself while reading the title of this blog, if I'm really the kind of girl who struts around in flashy red heels all day. Or maybe you're not. Well, I admit that I do own a gorgeous pair of patent red Kenneth Cole's that I occasionally pull out of my closet when I'm feeling extra frisky, but no I don't wear them everyday, and no, that is not the reason I chose the title above.

First and foremost, this blog is not about style or fashion. Now don't get me wrong,  I absolutely, without a doubt, believe that style and fashion is one of the many, vital threads that ravel a woman into her "spool" of presentation. And every woman's presentation distinguishes her from the rest of the pack. It leaves her one-of-a-kind imprint; her signature stamp, lingering on the minds of everyone she meets. Style is definitely something that in my opinion, every woman should possess and use to inspire and captivate those around her.


But that is not the reason I chose the phrase "Red Heels" in my title.


Here is the reason. It's all about symbolism and not literally an actual pair of red heels. We all know any stripper/street walker can strap up in a pair, but her self worth (and her worth in society) would fail drastically in comparison to that of an executive woman in the corner office.

Red is a strong, powerful color. You can always be sure heads will turn when you are dressed in red. Whether it be a red button down shirt, a red cocktail dress, or even red lipstick! It has a way of making people, men OR women, stop, look, and take notice of you. Maybe even ask themselves under their breath "Who IS that woman?" No one can deny the power it has. So I chose the color red due to those very reasons. Red signifies boldness and determination.

Now to the reason why I chose heels. We all know heels are the universal symbol of the feminine, sophisticated woman. The girl in flats standing next to the girl in heels might as well be invisible. You can't deny when you slip on a striking pair of 4 inch heels, your confidence is brimming at the peak. What is more unstoppable than an a determined woman with a strong sense of self confidence?

The power and determination of the color red; paired with the confidence in your femininity (symbolized in this blog by a pair of heels) ...Together, with the right balance of intelligence and assertiveness, those attributes can create a successful woman, a respected leader, and a force to be reckoned with.

And WHO doesn't want that?!